This is a basket of stocks created to mirror a market index such as the S&P 500. This is a good way to invest in a large number of companies across all sectors of the market. Index funds mirror the performance of the market. The fees are extremely low for passively managed funds making them a top tier investment .

A broker collects money from a bunch of people and buys whatever he/she thinks is best. There are mutual funds that specify what the broker can buy. Because there is lots of trading within the fund, these typically have an expense ratio around 1%. A good option, but inferior to index funds. Ironic right.

This is a mutual fund that gradually invests in less volatile investments as the retirement date nears. It is index and mutual fund heavy at the start and bond heavy at the end. The broker will automatically transition your portfolio over time. This is the “easy button” of investing. This is how I have my 401(K) invested.

A traditional 401(K) allows you to put in money PRE TAX. Really important for high-income earners like CRNAs to defer taxes until you are in a lower bracket such as retirement. W2 employees can put in $20,500 for 2022 and an extra $6,500 if over age 50. Often times, the employer “matches” a percentage as well. Withdraw money starting at age 59.5. There is a 10% penalty if removed before this time.

This is a 401(K) for tax exempt organizations such as non profit hospitals. All you need to know for now.

Another traditional 401(K) and 403(b) style plan with similar contribution limits. The main difference here is the lack of a 10% early withdrawal penalty for a handful of “acceptable reasons”.

Use PRE TAX money to fill this plan to pay for college and college related expenses. Funds can be transferred if you do not have kids or they choose to not attend college. Worst case scenario, you take the money out and pay the taxes. No major downside. Good place to put a couple extra bucks because it is PRE TAX.

THE ULTIMATE INVESTMENT VEHICLE. No taxes at any point in time on this money. An account for high deductible insurance plans to cover medical related costs. $3,850 max contribution for 2023. If unused, you can invest this money into anything and see it grow tax free.

Roth basically means POST TAX dollars. The rest works like the 401(K), but with a max contribution of $6,000. Bad news for many CRNAs, married tax filers making over $204,000 do not quality. However, a Roth conversion is a great option after retirement.

For the 14% of CRNAs who are 1099, here you go. Max contribution of $66,000 in 2023 going to a traditional (PRE TAX) IRA. No “catch-up” contribution for those over age 50. The same 10% penalty applies if removed before age 59.5. Must have for 1099 CRNAs.

Nicknamed “Certificates of Depression,” this is an account where your money is stored for a set time, usually 3 months to 5+ years with a fixed interest rate. The interest rates are guaranteed and higher than a savings account. CDs show up more commonly in the aging investor’s portfolio. This has been a weak investment option over the past 30 years as rates topped just over 3%.

This is a loan to the government where you are paid interest for the loan. There are fixed rate (EE Series) and variable rate (I series). These have rates typically higher than savings accounts and guaranteed. Bonds show up more commonly in the aging investor’s portfolio. With inflation increasing, expect to see more of these around. I recently purchased I bonds with a rate of 9.62%.

Like the name states, digital currency. New, polarizing, volatile, and exciting. This warrants many discussions, some I am not qualified to cover. Like other speculative things, go for it, but keep it to a small piece of your portfolio pie.

Mostly gold and silver in this category. These are some old-school hedges against inflation. Ever since they removed the gold backing from the US dollar, people have liked their precious metals. You can literally buy bars of metal or funds that mirror the price. An investment strategy to be later discussed.

An investment account you can open from one of many companies or banks. Think Robinhood for the daring youngsters and Vanguard for the boring old people who actually have money. They all have different fees and trading options. I urge you to get one after you clean up consumer debt and fill some of the accounts above.

These are agreements to buy something for a set price at a set time. For the lay person, this is gambling. For r/wallstreetbets, this is the only way to live. For the smart money, it is speculative and often times a hedge.

This is not an investment.

Buried just deep to the frost line for those doomsday people, old midwestern farmers, and those mistrusting of banks. I’m not going to change your mind.