Bill, a new entrepreneur, discovers a powerful financial strategy. He meets a local businessman who invites him to coffee the following week with one simple instruction. The businessman is intimidating, 20 years his senior, and successful by all financial measures. The instruction was simple. Meet for coffee this Saturday and bring an updated financial statement or balance sheet. They meet at what I assume to be a local café with subpar coffee made palatable with the addition of 2 mini cream cups and a sugar packet. The two compare balance sheets, one containing 5 figures of assets and the other 8 figures. The two discuss ways each could improve their business. The input was from both sides of the café booth and mutually beneficial. Sure, the businessman has more experience, but thinking aloud can prove beneficial. Near the end of the coffee date, the businessman says the real test is to see how the balance sheets look next month. Was the business making money? Were sales up or down? And they went on to meet every first Saturday of the month. Always comparing, not to each other, but to the previous month’s data.

Never was the discussion a direct comparison between the two corporations, but rather an opportunity for self-reflection and a mutual desire for success. The vision of success manifesting itself one month at a time. Many self-help books speak to the benefits of writing out goals. Write them daily. Write them on a “goal board.” Speak them to yourself in the mirror. Visualize the money in the account. Whatever works. Same difference. Just write out your aspirations, visualize, and reflect.

Find someone to make this financial journey enjoyable. For anyone who struggled their way from beneath their student loans, it sucks. From under credit cards, it sucks. From under any financial pressure, it sucks. You need someone to work with like the aforementioned duo. They are battle buddies. We have all heard we are most similar to the 5 people we spend the most time with. I hope each of those 5 people bring something positive to your life. If you are on a financial journey (let’s be honest, we are all on a journey, just in different phases), one or more of those people need to be your financial battle buddy.

“Personal” finance sounds like an individual endeavor. It’s not. Social media recommends finding a mentor, but I don’t like that term now that it’s mainstream and all of the kids are saying it. I’m an old soul and alliterations are bad ass, so befriending a “battle buddy” is better.

Remember, it isn’t a comparison to see who is worth more or who has more of XYZ. You need a partner. Someone to say what I did to my wife many years ago, “you make too much money to have that kind of debt.” As a new RN (it’s been a while, but she hasn’t aged a day), she was content with a lingering $27,000 undergraduate debt. Looking at you Cornhusker territory. She paid it off in 10 months making $25 per hour and unofficially became my first successful financial coaching client and one of my current battle buddies. It didn’t hurt that I incentivized her paying it off sooner.

You need someone to say, “man, I hear your comments about financial stress. Do you want to meet up for coffee next Saturday and talk it out?” Try something like, “I feel stressed living paycheck-to-paycheck. Would you mind if I showed you my plan as a way to keep me accountable?” It’s about, “I want to put away $XYZ into investments to retire at age ABC and I don’t reliably meet that each month. What can I do about it?” Be honest with yourself and say, “I need some help with this money stuff.” We all start somewhere. No sense in wasting time by learning everything yourself. That’s what this blog is about, the cliff notes of personal finance. Even if your first battle buddy isn’t financially literate (best if they are), they can be encouraging.

I am comfortable in my financial shoes. A close friend has and is in the process of attaining degrees from some of the most prestigious universities and MBA programs in the country world. The military covered all of this. He is contracted to teach at the military academy in New York when he finishes his TOP 10 MBA program. Then his entry into investment banking or consulting will start him near CRNA dollars but also includes an $80,000 annual bonus. He is on the short track to c suite life with an unlimited earnings potential. And I can only think, glad my best man and I are on the same team. This is a real dude who has already and will continue to make a big difference. It takes a lot to get the accolade of “real dude.”

The gentleman who looked over my anesthesia contract put the two of us in the café drinking subpar coffee on the first Saturday of the month. My barely 6-figure net worth near the end of CRNA school didn’t even come close to this 45-year-old executive’s 7-figure annual compensation. I mean, he just paid cash for a $3M+ house in the Midwest with an indoor basketball court, movie theatre, and commercial gym. He has stock holdings, rental properties, and hotels among other investments. This guy hasn’t worked in healthcare a day in his life but has so many connections it is mind boggling. In 3 days, he learned the ins and outs of the CRNA job market 1,500 miles from where he lived just based on business connections with healthcare professionals. I was on the outside looking in. With that being said, he gave me invaluable information humbly and without the expectation for anything in return. Phenomenal soft skills. He told me about the people who helped him move up the socioeconomic ladder and offered me a direct line. He gave suggestions as to where to focus my investment efforts and time outside of work. Because of him I will never do my own taxes again. He said, “you negotiated these terms, which look amazing. You ask the right questions. You know what you want and have a plan to get there. It’s just time.” All of this because I extended an invitation for coffee. Best $150 gift certificate I have ever bought.

These are the people you need in your life. Selfishly invite them to coffee and provide something in return. Successful people want to help those climbing the ladder. My success is dwarfed compared to many in my life, but still grinding my way to financial independence makes me relatable. I’m not some 80-year-old just telling you to work harder. Be careful with having a family member as a battle buddy. It is all too easy to look up from your coffee and into the green eyes of envy. As evidences by the stories above, I seek out people who are ahead of me. I forever want to be the 5-figure guy regardless of my progress and net worth. If you need a battle buddy, reach out to The Financial Cocktail via the Contact Us page. I will gladly lend an ear whether you are $1M in the hole or have a net worth of $1B. Everyone has something to share.